Forgiven not forgotten
by A-Karana
Summary: She is forgiven and he is not forgotten Spoilers for Season 7


So another spoilersih fanfic from me, I hope you like it. The song is "forgiven not forgotten" by TheCorrs

It had been a stupid fight. A loud one, but a stupid one. What made it so hurtful weren't the words which had been used or the things they had said, but that it was the first one since they had gotten married. Of course they had had some minor arguments and their fare share of bantering, otherwise they wouldn't be themselves, but this was the first real fight as a married couple.

Lorelai lay in their bed, facing away from his empty side. He had gone to the diner, to his former apartment, which was now again the office it had been once before. There was no longer a bed in it and she wasn't sure how he wanted to spend the night there, but she told herself that she didn't care.

The fight had been about a stupid date. She had been busy and forgotten their date. They were married now; it wasn't like they still needed dates to see each other. And it had been only dinner. They had dinner together every day. It was nothing special, right? Oh, it was...

There had been a time when she would have given her everything to have a single peaceful dinner with him, hell only a dinner. And it hadn't been more than a year ago...

_All alone, staring on, watching her life go by,  
When her days are grey and her nights are black,  
Different shades of mundane and the one eyed furry toy  
That lies upon the bed has often heard her cry  
And heard her whisper out a name long forgiven, but not forgotten,_

_You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're not forgotten_

She had been with Chris then, after that horrible night some weeks before June third. The date they should have gotten married. After the night of the ultimatum. After he had said never in her ears. After she had left him on the sidewalk. After she had slept with Chris. After she had told Luke. After he had yelled at her. After she had given him the ring back.

She hadn't loved Chris, she knew it back then and she knew it now. She'd always known it. Only the fact that she thought Luke would be never able to forgive her and didn't want her anymore had been the reason why she had dated Chris. She didn't want to be alone. She had wanted someone who wanted her. Chris.

_A bleeding heart torn apart, left on an icy grave,  
In the room where they once lay, face to face,  
Nothing could get in their way, but now the memories of the man  
Are haunting her days and the craving never fades,  
Shes still dreaming of a man long forgiven, but not forgotten, _

You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're not forgotten

At least that's what she had been telling herself when she had started dating him. Years before, it would have been everything that she wanted, but then it had been nothing at all for her. He had got her out of the house and her bed, where she otherwise had spent hours crying for Luke and what they had had. What she had lost.

The trust, the love, the kids, the house.

She had trusted Chris s well, but she never loved him. And because she never loved him she didn't wanted to have kids with him. And without the kids, where was the need for a new house?

She had blamed herself during those hours on the bed. So much, that she sometimes couldn't bear to see herself in the mirror.

Chris had wooed her in every possible way. But he wasn't Luke; it had been as simple as that.

During those two months with Chris she had tried to get what she wanted, the whole package, without Luke. But it wasn't the whole package without him.

The dates had been nice, the dinners expensive and the sex... not bad, but he wasn't Luke. Every time he had picked her up she had wished it would be Luke. Every time he had invited her to dinner, she had wished it would have been Luke who did and every time they had had sex she fantasizes it was Luke who touched her. But it hadn't been.

She had pinned for this man so badly that she had sometimes thought she was a crazy stalker. An obsessed woman, who belonged into a clinic and not on the street.

So she had broken up with Chris when she couldn't stand anymore being unfaithful to him. Another friendship gone.

_Still alone, staring on, wishing her life goodbye  
As she goes searching for the man long forgiven, but not forgotten, _

Youre forgiven not forgotten  
Youre forgiven not forgotten  
Youre forgiven not forgotten

Little had she known that Luke had felt the same: Empty and drained, not whole without her, beside all that she had done.

And she sometimes still couldn't believe her luck that at their lowest point, when both hadn't been able to go on anymore, they had started to work things out.

As always they had chosen an unusual way and had gotten married the same day they had first talked to each other again. Because beside everything it came down to one fact: They couldn't be without one another. It wasn't so much about wanting to be with each other, it was really a need.

So three months after the breakup they had gotten married and had started working, talking, crying, blaming and forgiving. Together. After the honeymoon they had been through the hardest stuff and it had become easier. Not so draining and heartbreaking anymore.

And now she was lying alone in the bedroom of their new house, which they had bought for the kidsthey had both agreed on having, and was crying again. Because she had forgotten their dinner-date. Had forgotten the dinner date with him. Had forgotten him. God, she was stupid.

_You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're forgiven not forgotten  
You're not forgotten  
You're not forgotten_

She jumped off the bed, went down the stairs and just wanted to run out the door, when she ran into him. She stumbled and he steadied her, took in her appearance.

With one look at her he knew what she had wanted to do and what she had done this past hour. He gave her a small smile and a kiss on the forehead.

"You're forgiven" he said and pulled her in a hug when her eyes welled up again.

"But you're not forgotten" she sniffed on his shoulder.

_No, you're not forgotten_

**End**


End file.
